Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
ttyl tear gas
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
