Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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