better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
