She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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