Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
