Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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