I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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