i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
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