Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i dont even know how to be here
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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