I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
