Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Randomize