Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
