I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I could make wine with my vomit
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
