Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
