After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
