there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
