good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
wow bdsm is so cute
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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