Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Randomize
