hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
