Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Vodka?
Forever.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
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