I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
