For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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