Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
