He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
