I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Someone came in the potted fern
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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