Kiss
Puke
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
People with herpes should wear stickers.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize
