How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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