I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
