hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
