You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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