Kiss
Puke
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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