Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
