A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
There are leaves in my underwear?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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