I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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