He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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