I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
This is my gift to your gina
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
