but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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