Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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