Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
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