Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
