This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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