We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
