Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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