dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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