So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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