i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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