Please, let me fuck your mom
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
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