This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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