How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Randomize