he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
