thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Randomize
