I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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