I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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