He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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