Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
you would pick up someone in the library
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
