just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
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