before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
